Hold Back the Night by Adam Baron

Author:Adam Baron
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canelo Books
Published: 2017-06-28T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

When I got home I unlaced my shoes rather than my trainers, eased my tie loose, and returned my suit to the hanger instead of pulling a tee shirt over my head. It made me feel like someone who had a real job. I poured myself a vodka and tonic and thought how much I’d actually got done in one day. And there was more to come. It reminded me of being on the Force and I remembered those intense periods, trying to break a case, working all hours God or the devil sent. For a second or two I even missed it and Ken Clay’s words came to mind about why I left. Was he right? Was I just running away? Would it have been better after all to have stayed and got on with it? No. I only had to look at him to know that in many senses I’d been lucky. I’d have become just like him. A slicker version maybe but no different; using the most sensitive parts of people to get to them, making people hate me on purpose just so they would tell me things. I might even have become like Andy Gold, hustling the odd fifty quid out of his contacts, making dodgy plays for every woman he went anywhere near. It must just be the heat, I decided. I got under the shower and let an almost painful torrent of water pound the thoughts out of me.

Drying myself off I took a look at my leg and at my hand and saw that they were both a lot better. I cut up a banana on a bowl of cereal and ate it quickly before pulling on some sweatpants and a tee shirt. I packed a bag, locked up my flat, decided against the bike and walked downstairs to the car.

It felt good to put in a workout and then get in the ring. I was tentative at first, feeling my way into my body like it was a new pair of shoes. But I soon got into it. Being able to move freely felt like repossessing myself, getting control of my limbs again. It gave me a real sense of freedom to be able to work out, or stand up opposite another person, to push my body to do things it naturally resisted but naturally responded to at the same time. I was pretty fucked after a couple of hours but I felt invigorated, and I told myself to make sure that I reinserted my training into my schedule. It’s as easy to get out of good habits as it is to get into bad ones. Sal said it was nice to have me back off my holidays.

Before taking a shower I stood in front of the mirror. I don’t cultivate an overly bulky physique but I do like to be trim, and I saw a slight decline from the previous month, caused no doubt by my lay-off. It was something that was probably only noticeable to myself, but it was there.

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